


Leads to Suffering

by faequeentitania



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Light Angst, Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, The Force
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-26
Updated: 2018-07-26
Packaged: 2019-06-16 13:23:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15437967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/faequeentitania/pseuds/faequeentitania
Summary: He was always angry, always suffering, the depths of his anguish always resonating across their bond, but today was different. Something hadhappened, something had ignited him into a wrathful fury that burned in her chest like a hot ember.





	Leads to Suffering

**Author's Note:**

> Just a bit of Feels that's been rattling around inside my head.

She didn’t know what had happened, only that he was angry.

He was always angry, always suffering, the depths of his anguish always resonating across their bond, but today was different. Something had _happened_ , something had ignited him into a wrathful fury that burned in her chest like a hot ember.

She wanted to scream, she wanted to cry, she wanted to destroy something; anything to vent the feeling of him filling up her chest and the back of her head.

Then the sound of destruction and her knees nearly buckled, suddenly awash in his raw emotions.

The harsh crackle of his lightsaber felt like static electricity in her blood, the rain of sparks from his violent strikes creating a hellish glow like an aura around him.

Whether he knew she was there or not she couldn’t tell; he didn’t stop, his back to her, taking his rage out on... something. She couldn’t see from her end of this connection, but the sparks told her it was something metal.

It hurt, he _hurt_ , so angry he could barely contain the hurricane of the Force inside him, barely holding on to control while he tried to vent it all through his weapon instead; she could hear it, she could hear the kyber inside resonating with a piercing shrill as it fought desperately to contain its master’s wrath.

Rey could scarcely breathe under the weight of it all, he had to stop; _stop stop stop stop stop!_

She collided with his back, his shock like a thunderclap, reverberating through the Force strong enough to make her shake.

He was frozen, his chest heaving from his exertions under the grip of her arms and every muscle trembling, but otherwise completely unmoving as his anger-fogged brain slowly processed her presence and touch.

She reached for his forearm, his lightsaber still humming in his iron grip, and trailed her fingers down, past his wrist to the back of his hand.

Silence; the lightsaber ceasing, the mournful cry of it’s crystal quiet in relief. Then a clatter, and his hand was empty, filled with Rey’s hand instead, fitting her fingers between his gloved ones and holding tight.

She thought of the sandstorms on Jakku; of the winds that could strip flesh, the violent bursts of electricity and lightning, the terrifying, disorienting darkness and oppressive heat.

Holding him was like trying to hold one of those storms, threatening to wear her away until she was nothing but dust. Still she didn’t lessen her grip, not on his hand or around his chest, her palm splayed open over his rapidly thundering heart.

She closed her eyes, her cheek pressed against the base of his neck, just taking soft and even breaths.

Time slipped by, and just like the storms on Jakku, the one inside him subsided; the tension in his body gradually waning as his heartbeat under her hand slowly calmed.

A small movement, and Rey opened her eyes, watching him bring his free hand up toward his face. He was pulling his glove off with his teeth, she realized, dropping it carelessly to the floor, and then...

Then it was hovering over hers where it was pressed against his chest.

She didn’t need to speak for him to know her consent.

His hand was hot, his palm a little sweaty from being confined in his glove, but it really didn’t matter when the feeling of his skin made tingles shiver up her arm and through her body in an electric burst.

His chest shuddered, the Force connection between them crackling and entwining, their souls searching for each other, as they always did, across the light years.

“Why are you doing this?”

His voice was raspy, strained; she wondered if he had been screaming before the Force brought them together.

“Because you need it.”

That caught him off guard, both of his hands tightening around hers. She just squeezed back, her hands and her arm around his broad chest.

_I need you._

She wasn’t meant to hear that, she sensed; it was a desperate, painful little thought that he was immediately ashamed of. He didn’t want to need anyone, he didn’t want to crave a gentle hand or kind words the way he did.

She didn’t want to crave giving them to him; it would be so much easier, if she could hate him. If she could go back to knowing him as nothing but a monster.

That could never happen. Not now, not after everything she had seen, everything she knew and felt. Not after this tragic mess of a man took root in her head and heart and life.

So she gave in, in the small ways she could afford. Touching him as she was now, helping him to find his way back to calm, ease his suffering for a little while.

His heart was still under her hand, no longer frantically racing, but softer, steadier.

She wished she could tell him everything would be okay; that they would find their path to unity, one way or another. She believed that they would, there was no question in her mind, but she sensed the platitude would upset him instead of comfort him.

So she just held on. She’d hold on as long as the Force would allow, easing his swirling emotions with her touch, and hoping that someday they wouldn't be separated by light years and conflict.

“Thank you,” he whispered so softly she almost missed it.

She tightened her grip for a moment, and dared to press a soft kiss to the top of his spine as she rubbed her thumb against his sternum.

He shivered, holding her hands tight. She felt his want and longing, calling to her own, bringing tears to her eyes.

_Someday, Ben. I promise you._

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked this fic, feel free to come hang out with me on [tumblr.](https://faequeentitania.tumblr.com) :)


End file.
